what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
