I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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