like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
