Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
