Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
