I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
