All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
