we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
