I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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