well I can't set my house on fire every night
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
