guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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