oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
