We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
