Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
