Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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