all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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