ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
