Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize