He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
