im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
