Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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