so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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