The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Redeem this text for a blowjob
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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