THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
