he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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