i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
