It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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