so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
