a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
