So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
