It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
