the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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