I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
