Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
