Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
