I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize