I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
