you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
