David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
