spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
