You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I have post one night stand depression
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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