I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
