I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
