I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
