Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
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