I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
love makes seman taste better
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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