we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
