she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
