I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
