I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
