Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize