there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
