there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
