how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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