I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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