Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
