i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize