they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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