Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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