So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He has the fingertips of a God
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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