she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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